Friday, March 12, 2010

how I keep humble

I have a friend who refers to me as the "dumbest smart girl he knows" when I tell him the stories of how I've gone and done something retarded again. I prefer to think of it as keeping humble, and/or as paying the awesome tax.

There has to be some sort of offset for all the awesomeness that is normally my existence, and I figure this comes in the form of the "awesome tax." It generally occurs when I park where I shouldn't, drive like a jerk in proximity to a police officer, or accidentally drink too much while out with friends and feel so good I pick up the whole tab. Oy.

As far as keeping humble, this is when I do something that should be easy, and somehow manage to foul it up really badly. A good example is when I somehow screw up boiling water. Not that I've ever done that. More than once in a week.

My latest adventure of keeping humble involves coffee. I had to meet someone on campus to sign some paperwork because I am El Presidente of a campus group and the campus group required paperwork and my signature. So I had the secretary of the group fill out the paperwork, and then she needed my signature, so I met her on campus to give it to her.

Sweet girl really. The little sister of one of my high school boyfriends, embarrassingly enough (that's another story for another time.) I think I somehow conned her into being secretary after I was conned into being El Presidente (yet another story for another time.)

Anyways. After signing the paper, I was feeling rather Presidential and Important and thus decided I should reward my awesomeness with a $5 soy caramel macchiato.

Which I then promptly spilled all over the floor of my class while getting my binder out of my bag.

In front of a room full of students.

On a floor that doesn't have a bathroom, or easily retrievable paper towels.

I made a rather lovely mess trying to clean this up, and eventually gave up, figuring that part of my tuition went to the janitors who would have to deal with my mess. When the instructor showed up and asked what happened, I simply replied "I was feeling a little too good about myself."

So between the "Episodes Wherein the Heroine will Be Knocked Down So as to Prove that She is Still in Touch with the Little People" and the Awesome Tax, I would like to think that I'm being kept in check very nicely.

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