It is not safe to bring me to meet your parents. Even while sober. And especially while drunk. (Ask my sibling about the time I told her future mother-in-law how much I liked her "Gone with the Wind"-Themed Pittsburgh Toilet/bathroom in the basement after the St Paddy's Day Parade) Additionally, you will find, that I'm probably not safe around the children.
I mean. Don't get me wrong. I have a children. I like my particular spawn rather well. I am also good with the children of my close associates, compatriots, and partners in crime. However. They have been well briefed not to repeat anything mrs. snark says, no matter where they are.
The most horrific things pass through my brain on a regular basis. And I giggle about them. Often. So it is not odd to see me walking down the hall just giggling. And if you ask "What's so funny?" my reply might very well be ... "Oh... I... um... just think funny things sometimes." Because I absolutely cannot tell you what I'm laughing about.
Well. Ok. I can tell you guys. I mean. You probably don't know the people that I'm laughing about, so it's all good fun. Case in point. Today. I'm walking to the water fountain at work. And I pass by the pregnant woman at work. (Oh, trust me, she is THE pregnant woman. And we ALLLLLL know allllll about her first, and now up-coming second, spawn. And every little stinking thing they do. And the words they say. And what they had for lunch. and... omg. yes. its that bad.)
So anyways. I see her. And she's. Well. She's a big girl. Tall. Broad shoulders. She's just. I mean, she's really tall. And. well. Wide. And now she's preggers. And fairly deep into the pregnancy, and she just. Well. She looks odd. Like. Well, like Jabba the Hut.
So now I'm in the hall, water dripping down my face, giggling. And I can't tell anyone why this is funny. Except it totally is. She's one of those people that is Smarter Than You (tm). She has a piece of advice on every single thing you've ever done or have ever contemplated doing. Even if she's never done it.
During her first pregnancy, she was giving me parenting advice. O.o
So trust me. It's funny. And so I consult with one of my coworkers on the issue, and she agrees that yes, it just looks weird. And it occurs to me that we are probably going to Special Hell for thinking these thoughts.
Special Hell is this place that is worse than Actual Hell in that every once in a while, you forget you're in hell. And then, BAM! Back on your heads.
Anyways. The point of this post is to give a shout-out to someone who isn't a local blog, but is a rather amusing blog, and sometimes a poignant blog, but all around a good blog. Someone who reminds me that it's ok to be as inappropriate as I am, because she's just as inappropriate. And if you're going to be inappropriate, you don't want to also be alone. So, a round of clicking for your aunt and mine, Aunt Becky: